Loneliness

What a despicable word! I live and breath by the power of an amazing Creator who despite everything Loves me, so how can I be lonely? I am never alone, truly alone because He is ALWAYS with me! So how do I feel this way?
Then again, it's not the typical I feel all alone in this world, I have no one loneliness. It's a deeper weirder loneliness. It's like I'm yearning for my "other half", my "husband". It's so odd. Really.
I'm not "lonely" when I'm with my friends, but there just seems to be something I don't know missing. But how can that be?
I HAVE the other half of me! The thing that makes me whole. Jesus! So how can I feel this way?
Well, I guess it's because eventhough I am whole, I'm not complete yet. As in my life is not complete yet. As in, I am MADE for someone. Ha! what a weird thought. I'm only 17, and I'm already yearning for the one who God has made me for. Maybe, it's just the fact that I'm being surrounded by such despair, and I'm feeling a little teenie bit weary.
HA! I had a moment this week, where I literally had a deja vu in reverse.
A year ago, I was in the shower pouring out my heart out to God, telling Him that I was tired of being the "weak" one. I was tired of being hated, and despised, weak and tired, and feeling useless as a friend. Then, this past week, on Sunday I found myself in the same exact place but the exact opposite. I almost told God that I was tired of being the "strong" one. I caught myself, chuckled and told God, "Wow! How can my heart change this fast Lord? I remember just last year I was complaining about being the "weak" one, and now I'm complaining about being the "strong" one. So, this is how fast my heart can change. This is how the Children of Israel did it. *chuckle*"
It was a sobering experience. So, instead of my silly childish response to everything that God has done through me this year I changed it to something that expressed my true desire, to have someone who I can be strong for and they can be strong for me too. Someone who I can "lean on" in sorts. Because I do have one amazing friend who is always there for me sometimes she doesn't really notice, and the other sister I have sometimes just doesn't know. I know I should be more open, but even I still harbor a fear of rejection. I can handle it in many places in my life, sports, relationships, life in general, but when it comes to pouring out my heart in worship or dealing with my raw emotions the only one I trust is God. I'm sure there is at least one person out there who i can just one day be able to break down and cry on their shoulder, but as for now God is the only shoulder I need.