My Dear John Letter

What's up world?
Nothing changed much?
or has everything changed?
You aren't exactly the most stable basis of morals or truths.
In fact, for most of my life I believed your lies.
And at first things went well.
I forgot all about the truths God had whispered
quietly into my young ears and heart
I decided that your loud bleating voice must be who I turned to.
So I filled myself with your pride,
with YOUR justice, and feel good attitude,
but you know what?
at the end of the day nothing had changed.
I was still empty.
I didn't hear it at the time,
but God was calling out to me.
I was so far away there were times His voice was just
a small echo reverberating through my mind.
I couldn't see it at the time,
but He was moving.
His hand was reaching out to me,
and I was the chasm seperating the two of us.

Just like the dark before the morning when everything is black
and all I could see was you,
skewing my view,
He was preparing a painting.

Just like the silence before the birds sing,
and all I could hear was your guilt driven shameful sorrow washing over me,
He was preparing a symphony.

And in that silence, that utter darkness
when I thought all was lost
and I was too far gone.
I felt His touch.
I heard His voice.
I saw His truth.

I had fought hard to forget,
that what I see is what I get.
His beauty,
His love,
All for me.
Paid at high cost
on that Blessed tree.

I had fought hard to forget,
that all my shame and all my regret,
All My Fear
All My Anger
All these jagged pieces
Are loved beyond belief.

That He loved me enough
To set me Free.

All this came flooding back to me.
And when I reached out for His hand,
It was there.
Not like YOU so many times before.
When i cried out to Him,
He took me into His arms.
He was everything I ever wanted.

So many nights I wished someone would love me unconditionally.
So many nights I wished someone could look past all my doubts and insecurities.
So many nights I wished someone like Him would come along.
I promised myself I would settle for ANYTHING similiar.
I wasted so much time running from Him,
when He was all I
needed
wanted.

So here I am, world, writing my Dear John letter to you.
Here are all your broken promises
and lies.
I don't want them any more.

Here are all your chains
I don't need them any more.

Here's the person you thought you could destroy.
Here's the person who tried so desperately to impress you.
Here's the insecruity, shame, rage, fear, doubt, and lies you gave to me.
I'm replacing them with confidence, honor, patience, and truth.
I am new.
and no matter what you do,
I have Him to Pull Me Through.

So Long World,
I found the best.