Deeper Concepts: God's "Perfect" Will

Alrighty, this blog will be something a little more deeper than just the salvation story. In this blog I will be speaking to what Paul in the Bible likes to call "spiritual men". Paul describes "Spiritual men" as christians, followers of Christ, who are ready to "spiritually" eat "solid food".
Now, I personally find myself craving "spiritual food" that has a little more substance then the normal children's Bible study stuff, but in all honesty I find myself taking that baby food one spoonful at a time, as well. I think the reason for my "stunted growth" if you will is because I was so wrapped up in my own torment for nearly 10 years of my life, in the depression, resentment, bitterness and guilt that came along with all of my saddness, that I have forgotten what the food of life had tasted like, and that because I was so used to my other life style that I can't just jump back into eating normal food. You can think of my esperience like this....Let's say there is a baby who eats baby food. They grow up a little everyday learning new things and they get stronger and sooner then later they start eating hardier foods, "solid foods". Well, let's say this baby begins to grow and it grows until it becomes a strong youthful child, but then something happens and this once strong child can no longer get the food and nourishment it needs and begins to wither. Their body begins to weaken, and they begin losing a lot of weight. They get food here and there over time, but it's not enough to sustain them. Weeks, months, years go by like this. This child continues to grow but it is a broken growth. The child grows into a teenager, but instead of a beautiful strong and glorious young adult you see a weathered beaten weak creature before you.
That's how my spiritual life went. I started off strong as a child, but then circumstances got in the way, and without even realizing it I was being deprived of my food source. I was living on almost nothing for 3 years, and then little by little I recieved food. It finally came to a point where it was my decision to receive nourishment, whether my parents realized it or not, and I took it. I could live like that anymore, and now even though I am seen to be wise and intelligent I know how truly weak I am. There are times I have questions that seem like they come from a chlid, but they are questions I have forgotten the answer to. They are morsels of food I haven't tasted since my spiritual childhood. I hope this was a clear analogy. If not I'll write a better one, because it only just hit me that some people might not understand the concept.

Anyway, on to my actual subject. Now, for those of you have grown up in the church, have entered some sort of Bible college or have spoken to a preacher about some sort of life drama or tragedy you might have heard them utter this phrase, "It's all in God's will". Now, I'm sure if you've heard this after a huge tragedy like 9-11 or your own personal tragedy (ex. family memeber's death) you have probably had a few questions about their meaning.
As, I have heard them explain after a moment of outrage by a few people saying, "How can my suffering, their suffering, suffering of anykind be God's will?"
Good question is it not? Well, the preacher/spiritual wiseman/Man of God usually answer with this, "Well, it's not God's perfect will."
?????
I don't know about you, but that didn't really answer any questions I had about what they said. Well, after asking at least a handful of these preachers/wisemen/Men of God I finally met someone who would explain the concept. For some reason, if your a child lets say 4-14 people don't like answer questions that are "beyone your comprehension". (which to me is like a slap in the face cause you just leave me in ignorance instead of at least giving me an overview of what you said. If it's beyond my comprehension why would you use a concept like this in the first place. If your going to speak to a child as if they're a child then please do so from start to finsish.)
Anyhoo, one man finally sat me down and explained they whole concept. (He was my Bible teacher) Apparently, there is a theory, a widely used theory, that God has a "perfect" will, and a "non-perfect" will. Now, they use the story of Creation to show this theory.
God created the universe. When He created the universe He had a "perfect" will for it. That His Creation would live in harmony, love, peace, hope and everything God had in store for them, but due to the fall of man and the entrance of sin into the world Everything was corrupted. God's perfect will was no more, and His "non-perfect" will was born. So the basic idea of God's "perfect" will and his "non-perfect" will is that since God's will was broken so He developed a new will. In this case of Creation, the "non-perfect" will was His sending Jesus on the cross to die for the sins of the world and granting life to us all.
Now I know it's kinda a hard concept to grasp, especially as a "baby christian", but after this explanation it made sense. It's reasonably, it's logical. There are no loop holes, and eventhough it isn't the easiest thing to hear after you've lost a loved one it does overall make sense.
However, If you have ever heard the saying, "God's ways are higher than our ways..." now would be good time to address it. Since I haven't found a scripture that says this principle, granted maybe not in the same wording, I will assume for now that it's not in the Bible. Therefore, it would make this widely used and accepted principle to be "the reasoning of Man".
At first glance that wouldn't be a big deal except the Bible does say this.

"For the wisdom of this world is foolishness before God. For it is written, 'He is THE ONE WHO CATCHES THE WISE IN THEIR CRAFTINESS';
and again,'THE LORD KNOWS THE REASONING of the wise, THAT THEY ARE USELESS.' "
-1 Corinthian 3:19-20

So, I'm not saying it's wrong. It could be right, but don't be surpirsed if it's realized one day, even if that day IS in heaven, that it was wrong. Or just a man's attempt to explain one facet of an Almighty, all-knowing God.

So, now that you have read my explanation and my own thoughts, I want to hear yours. So if you are a preacher/wiseman/Man of God who is more familiar with this concept, please don't hesitate to comment. I would love to understand it more, and if you have a verse that supports this principle by all means post it! I'd love to read it.
And if your just a reader who would like to have say or share a personal experience of yours, then please share it with me.

Meant to Live

We are meant for so much more than our just our lives. I often find myself caught up in "living life" that I forget that I'm not meant for this world that nothing in this world is worth living for. I get caught up in wanting to fit it, in wanting to be able to say the right thing, to not be looked upon like a freak for thinking of things that few or no one ever thinks about. I get caught up in my dreams and aspirations that I'm sure if I really wanted them and asked God for them he could bless me with, but then I think what is my REAL purpose?
I mean, yeah, I could got and do all those things that I want to do. There's nothing unholy about them if I kept God the focus of them, but would it have the same impact as what God wants for me. Ever since I was little it has been abundantly clear to me that I was made for something important. We all are, but for me it just seemed like more of a reality. It was brought to my attention if you will. It possessed my thoughts and prayers as a child. I just wanted to know what God wanted me to do so I could do it, and honestly there was absolutely no doubt in my mind that when God finally told me I would go and do it. But no that I'm older it's not so much that I don't want to do it, because I do. It's just that I still don't know what it is, and because I was so far from the Lord's will for so many years of my life I'm not as secure in knowing His voice. I also see things in my life that I could use toward glorifying my Lord, but I do realize that I am at a cross roads in my life. I'm only 17, but the decisions I make here impact the rest of my life. If I go to college I could miss my purpose. If i don't I could miss it. I'm surrounded by questions that I don't have the answer to. I don't want to miss out on what I've been blind to for the majority of my life.
I've come through a lot over the last year. Hearing the Voice of God and finally giving up something that has tormented me and plagued me for nearly 10 years of my life. Hearing His Voice and joining the church He called me to. Dealing with the outrage and denial of my family after joining said church. Struggling and fighting through the mental, spiritual and emotional anguish of seeing my parents not only despise but hate the place and people I have come to know and love. Surviving the threats of being thrown out on my own, the purple face of my angry father and the loss of abandonment when he finally kicked me out of my house. But most importantly, I have got to see the Hand of God move in my life so many times in this past year that I want Him to keep moving. I know it hurts, and that there are things that will bring me pain but I know it's not God whose hurting me. It's me! He has removed so much of me in this last year, and has replaced and repaired the emptiness with Himself. HOW CAN I BE EVEN LOOKED AT LET ALONE BE SO LOVED BY THE ALMIGHTY?! He continues to love me everyday, and I don't know how He does it. His ways are truly higher than our ways! He loves me! He is by very definition LOVE! I'm sitting here as I type crying because I am so moved. I LOVE HIM! more than any words could ever describe. Every time something broke down, crashed and burned He was there to fix it. All those nights I cried because of how my parents treated me after church, He was there with me. He made it worth all the pain and suffering just to get a glimpse of true fellowship with His children every Wednesday night. When I was facing a night on the street, He provided me with friends who literally fought over the next week who'd i'd stay with. He has surrounded me with His love and people who love me. I have never felt more safe inmy life then when I felt like I was going to lose everything. I never felt closer to Him until I literally said to Him, "You're all I need. You told me you'd be all I need and that you'd provide for me no matter what. I'm fixin to need a LOT of help Lord, but I'm ready and I love YOU!"
I was in so much pain, but I was still so excited to see what He'd do. I don't remember what the point of this blog was, but it turned out to be a mini testimony. This if you can believe it is only one year in my wonderfully touched story. I think the point of this blog was to say that were meant to live for somthing so much more than our lives. We get glimpses here and there that remind us of who and what were dealing with. This was just one of mine.


I hope and pray I learn what my purpose is. If your wondering about the same thing, then write me a comment about it. If you think/know what your purpose given to you by God is then PLEASE tell me! I want to know the ups, downs, pros, cons, joys and sorrows that come with continuously beholding and truly loving the Almighty! =]

Behind The Scenes

Okie Dokey! I wrote this passage a LONG time ago in like a 10 or 20 minute writing session. I was in my english class, and my teacher told us a writing exercise. You sit down at your desk you think of an idea, and you write somthing all in one sitting. Well, for some reason the idea of a school shooting was on my mind. I think it was because I dreamed of a girl shooting people at my school/church a few months before. (it really was one of the most terrifying nights of my life, especially because some of my dreams come true) Anyhoo, I got the urge to write, and when I finally sat down this is what happend. Well, close to this has been edited just a little bit, but still a really LONG time ago. I hope you enjoy it. It really feels close to my heart, and I have been told that the emotions feel quite real, so in the even that what I have been told is true. Strap yourself in! It's gonna be a bumpy ride.









Kim walked sluggishly down the hallway, bumping into people she had never met. Three years at this highschool, she should know most of them. They were people she walked past everyday. The same faces in the crowd, filled with worry about their grades or about trouble at home. Penelope had always been her crutch. She was the only friend she ever had since grade school. They had met in 4th grade. Kim had always been the outcast, but Penelope had been a shining light amongst the darkness. She was the only one who greeted Kim in their old school. She was the only one to take time out to care about her.
Those memories pierced Kim's heart like a double-edged sword. She fought back tears as she hurried to the girl's bathroom. The memory of screams flooded back into her mind. People were running, fighting for a way out. Kim slipped tossing her books across the floor as she fell to her knees, but it didn't stop those memories. The chaos in her mind began to increase with each passing second.
Kim reached for her neck. It wasn't there!
"NO!" whispered Kim.
She searched the floor frantically. Crawling and patting every square inch of the tile.
"The necklace, the necklace..." whispered Kim. "No, NO!"
Kim began to cry as she searched, "WHERE IS IT? no, no, no, no."
A boy came over to try to calm her down, but as soon as he touched her, the most horrible memory of all came flooding into her mind.
He had had a mask, but she would never forget that voice. He had grabbed her arm and flung her across the room knocking her head against the wall. She remembered the blood trickling down her face and the gun pointed at her. The thoughts of that day swirled inside her head, then she remembered the gunshot.
For a few seconds, her mind was a cold empty pit, but then Penelope's dead body flashed before her eyes. The intense emotion that flooded back was more than she could handle.
Kim snapped back into reality to the words of the boy, "It's ok. Calm down."
Kim's eyes were dull and cold, her face was pale. The boy reached for her arm again, but she moved and pushed herself against the wall.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!!!!" she screamed. "NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Kim pulled herself into a tight ball as she tried to block out those horrible memories, but the images kept flashing before her eyes.
Teachers came running into the hallway trying to calm the frantic student.
Then a young man came running down the hallway. He pushed his way through the crowd that had formed. He grabbed her hand and pushed something into them.
Kim's scream caught in her throat. The feel of the cool metal in her hands brought back the tears, but it had stopped her screams. She opened her hands to find the necklace. The beautiful silver flashed in the sunlight. She clutched it next to her heart as the nurse gently coaxed her off the floor.
Before she walked off she turned and whispered, "Thank you, Rueben."
He nodded his head to her as she walked off.
Rueben had been down the hallway when he had heard her scream. Immediately he knew it was the necklace. It was the only thing she had that tied her back to reality. Without it the horrifying memories invaded, he had seen it happen twice before, but this time had been the worst.
The bell rang and all the teachers and students picked up their things and hurried off to their classes. Rueben swung his backpack over his shoulder and walked down the long hallway toward the nurses office. His only hope was that they would let Kim stay in school. "Only one more week," he thought. "One more week and it'll be summer."








I often times want to add to this and give it a more happier ending, but I realized not to long after writing it that the purpose of this passage isn't to give a wonderfully constructed story. It's purpose was to make the audience FEEL the pain and mental anguish. To realize that there's more than just the outside. There's more going on "Behind the Scenes". So, if you wish there was a happier or more fulfilling ending. You're not the only one! I wish it to, but I was in such a different place in my life when I wrote it that I honestly don't know how to even begin. Perhaps, one day I'll write a continuation of Kim's story, because I think she deserves her redemption. I guess you'll just have to wait and see. =]

Smellin' Coffee

"I'm sitting here in this quiet coffeehouse just soaking in the day. I'm watching the people walking in and out going about their lives. And I'm struck by the realization that I am one in a sea of people. One breath in a pool of air. I am so insignificant in the broad picture, but then I remember that I am beautifully and wonderfully made. The maker of the stars care about the "insignificance" of my life. the little things that bother me he cares enough to listen and answer. When I call out his name he hears me. Amongst all the chaos of the day he listens to the chaos of my mind. He's the Creator of life. He's the builder of the universe. He's the glue that keeps the human body together. (Laminin, go ahead look it up) He's my anything and everything. Not only that, he's yours he's their's. The people that are walking across getting their incredibly complicated drinks, he is theirs. He is amazing, awe-inspiring and astounding. I have one question for you, the reader. Do YOU know him?"

Okay, so this is a little excerpt from what will become a longer piece ( i think). Well, except for the last couple of sentences. I don't remember how long ago it was I wrote it, but I posted it on one of my other blogs, and I decided it was worth transferring over here, as now this will be my only real blog. I don't really remember why I wrote, except that I was showing a girl I met this really long blog I had written about, at the time, THE single most hardest day of my life emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically. Since then, unfortunately I have had to live through another day even worse than that one, a day that realized one of my deepest darkest and oldest fears. If you really want to know then I'll post it, but I don't feel like doting on the past anymore. I don't even want to read that old post again just because writing it was my closer, and every time I read it I have to relive it. I want to not focus on the pain I went through, but the strength I was given to push on and not only survive it but learn from it.

Mission Camp Video: Behind the Scenes

Alright this is the behind the scenes of the Mission Camp video I made for my church. So if you don't like all the editing/idea making process you probably should read this.
Okay, first off I got the idea after hearing all the wonderful stories/testimonies from the people who went on this particular mission trip to New Orleans. They spent a life-changing week amongst the squalor still left behind 4 years after this devastating Hurricane. I began just looking at the pictures on my friends' facebooks, but as i looked at these pictures I got kinda bored so I opened up my windows music player and began listening to the new CDs I got for my birthday. The first one up was Addison Road. The very first track on the album was a song called "This Could Be Our Day". I began again flipping through the hundreds of pictures on countless profiles, and as I continued I started noticing some of the pictures went with the song. What I like to call beautiful gems that film editors LOVE! Then, the idea hit me. I could make a video for them!
My original plan was to finish it in the first week, but even though there was literally hundreds of photos, there wasn't enough to put together a decent video. So over the next two weeks, i kept my eyes peeled for new uploads. I think the final count was around 500 to 600 photos in total. Maybe a hundred photos of all these were used, but ALL of them were carefully edited, cropped, and/or straightened. There was so much red eye that needed to be removed it wasn't even funny. Any way after all the photos were complete, I embarked on the first leg of my actual mission. Editing the video.

My first predicament was that I needed an intro to the video. How would I do it? The beginning of the song is thrust straight into the chorus, and then the second verse and there lied the problem. I didn't want to scare people straight out of the gate because the beginning is so dynamic, also I didn't want them to miss the first few words of the song. So, I devised a way to fix this problem. I would simply explain the need the church had gone to fulfill. So as you see in the end product the into is a history of the Hurricane Katrina. I used a black back ground so that the colored pictures would stand out more. I also chose a more vertical font, so that it would look better on the ease in and outs. I also used a few pictures of the Hurricane Katrina whether pictures to add some menacing effects, because Hurricane Katrina was so incredibly massive. I remember looking up "Hurricane Katrina devastation" and other similar searches to find these pictures. I think I saved in all about 50 pictures, but in the end I only used 3 or 4 for timing purposes. I also tripled the size of the word "struck" and ease in really hard and slowed it down for emphasis ( I almost put "stuck" in the video, but upon inspection near the end of the editing process I realized my mistake and thankfully fixed it). I think it took me 2 days to finally finish the intro. I was so excited, but i didn't realize i still had two weeks of editing left. (the music in the intro is a clip from the beginning of "Go Light Your World" by Chris Rice)
The actual video started off with the song "This Could Be Our Day" as I mentioned earlier. I was actually considering a few other songs, but do to their context I finally chose this one instead.
I decided to put the title of the song in it, so that it could tie the lyrics to the song. The reason I chose the pictures of the city was because I wanted a very real sense of them going in to the city, although i don't know if the city in these pictures are actually New Orleans. I put New Orleans in there because I wanted my audience to know that it was in fact New Orleans my church went to and not another Hurricane Katrina site. I chose the pictures of the kids in the buses because i wanted chronology to be a big factor in this video. I used a few group photos as an overall them throughout the video. If you notice all the group photos appear when the part of the song says "This Could Be Our Day", but i think towards the end I used Duos instead.
Upon reaching 24 or 25 seconds in I reached a problem. The first long music solo before the first verse. I didn't know how I was going to fill it, because I didn't want to use photos of people in the midst of the a long extended music. so thankfully I had come up with this idea during the editing process. I was messing around with the Contrast and Shadowing of one of the photos of the posters the kids made, and as I did so I like the effect of it progressively changing. The only way I was to accomplish this was to slowly create individual copies of the same picture with different effects. I had made another video about a year before this one called "The Many Faces of Frank" where I used similiar photos of this guy I knew, sped them up together and it made it look like he was moving, so I used the same idea here, but on a higher and more organized scale. So the 5 seconds of transition you see in the video is made up of approximately 40 to 50 separately edited and treated photos put together and sped up to make it look like the photo is progressively changing. Yes, it took a really long time to do, but I am extremely happy I stuck it out, and finished.
Also, during the photo editing craze, I came across some really beautiful scenic pictures of the places the kids visited. So I darkened a photos that one of the girls had taken of her and her friends in front of a massive church to make it look like it was at sunset, and then I used a wonderful photo that looked like a crime caught on film to go with the lyrics "Clearly it's time to make a change". Then I used the one photo of the people that went sitting down relaxing for the next lyric. I used the pixilation transition a few times throughout the video to signify a change that was made. First for the waiting, and another time from praying to actually moving. As we made our way back into the chorus I showed pictures of just the kids that the youth worked with to show the reason why they were there. The second time were in the chorus I used mainly the activities that were done. Like the puppet show, and worship. It was to show the two worlds meeting. The kids who are used to having everything and the kids who just love what ever they have left. You see the expressions on the NeO kids faces where there just full of pure joy and how it reflects onto the visiting youth. You really get a glimpse of this incredible tranisiton on the mission campers side in what is my favorite part of the video. When I saw these two photos I knew it would be perfect!
About 1:56-1:59 you see a HUGE change in the mission campers lives. They go from standing defensive with their arms crossed to raising their hands without shame. I absolutely love that part of the video.
You have no idea how hard it was to find a picture without the kids smiling in it, but I managed to find one for the lyric "heal the broken ones". The photo at 2:05-2:06 is one of my favorite of all of them I saw. It shows a great deal about the kids that went. They're all just bowed heads and prayer to our Heavenly Father and it truly is one of the best photos I've seen.
As we go into the 3rd chorus part I show them in the construction part of the trip. I know there we're a few more group projects of different things, but there weren't enough photos of those projects to be able to create it's own part in the chorus. I kinda stuck a photo in there for my own personal laugh, and if you really want to know I'll tell ya, but I don't think it's worth putting in this little commentary. I still think i coulda done this part of the video better, and there are a few parts throughout that grate on my nerves for not fixing it, but what's done is done.
After the end of the 3rd chorus we go into the bridge. The lyric "This Could Be Our Day" is repeated a few times, and I used a fade transition and alternated the ease in and outs on the photos to give a push and pull effect, as well as, a building up to climax.
2:48-2:50 is one of my favorite moments not only because of the lyrics, but also because of the visual comparision. You see a little girl upside down doing a handstand, and then you see two of the mission campers upside down, and in a way it unites them both. It gives them a sense of "giving themselves away" like the song says. I also used a picture of one of the little girls close up for the lines, "something beautiful" because they weren't there to make a house or renovate things although they did that, they were there to make a differnce in the lives of God's beautiful creation. The picture at 3:02 is one of my favorites because it is so visually interesting. You have kids on the otherside of the gate who seem like they can't get to the other side, and one of the little boys is trying to help but can't get it open then comes one of the campers, called to make a difference in these kids lives, and opens it for them.
The next few photos before the final chorus are cued specifically to the music. When we get to the part that says "I'm giving myself away" again, I use a fade in to black fade out to black transitions in order to make it sounds choppy like with the drums sound in the music. Then when the music slows down almost to a stop you see one of my favorite pictures at 3:29 with no effects just straight up picture, and then you almost like get hit between the eyes with the next one and the expressions on the faces of the girls. I intentionally kept a lot of the pictures at the beginning from being to happy or smiley so that it would be more rewarding to see all of it come together at the end of the trip. So in the last few pictures in the chorus you see a LOT of duos and groups of the campers with the kids smiling and having a great time so you can really see the change that's taken place in both of their lives. After the last chorus we get into what I call the "ooo's". It was really hard in coming up with an ending because I loved all the happiness and I wanted it to continue I had 40-50 more photos that I loved and wanted to put in, but I didn't have time to put them in. I had maybe 30 to 45 sec of song left and I needed to finish it out. So I ended it with a few pictures of the dorms and them packing up, or unpacking I'm not sure which, and them sleeping in the car. Most of these pictures probably occurred before they actually got to New Orleans, but it makes it a good ending to see the campers exhausted after a long roller coaster of a week emotions. So I closed this video off with a few reminescent photos of worship and New Orleans and the last thing you see is the "Mission Camp 2009" logo.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this commentary of my video. If you made it all the way to the end don't forget to tell me. I hope you enjoyed the insight into the joys and struggles of making this video. =]

Strange Observations: Hott Guy...lol.

Okay, so I'm sure you have either seen or heard of a moment similar or exactly like the one I'm about to describe to you. Don't worry, it isn't that big of a deal. It's not life changing, or noteworthy, but it generally interested me.
I was sitting at a pool party at one of my friends houses, and i was talking to three of my friends. I'll call them Leif, Cher and Rae. I was talking to Rae when Leif came up. I introduced him to Cher and we were having an interesting conversation. All of a sudden I get a tap on my shoulder by this girl i know who kinda LOVES Leif, but will probably never tell him. (I don't know why, but for some reason every girl who likes Leif loves to tell me all about him. How cute, hott, handsome, gorgeous, nice, kind, sweet, gentlemanly, funny...etc...fill-in-the-blank he is. Which is fine he definitely is all those wonderful things. In all honesty he's probably one of the most attractive people I have ever met, but I like just being his friend. AND i kinda get annoyed when you can't even mention his name with some random girl spilling her guts about how incredibly dreamy he is. It's probably very similar to being friends with Brad Pitt.) Anyway, in the process of turning and saying, "hi" to her Leif apparently takes off his shirt to reveal his "amazing six-pack". I don't see a reaction from either her nor Rae who by the way likes him to, but she's not weird about it. When I turn back to say something to Leif, he is now in the pool. As soon as, he hits the water this girl who will be called Lea, somehow manages to swing to the other side of the table and sit down before I even know what's going on.
Lea continues to go on about how incredibly hott he is, and it was kinda getting on my nerves. She went on about, "How can someone be so hott?! He's ripped! When Leif was taking off his shirt I tried my best not to stare at him..." or something to that effect. I laughed because the last time we had been to this pool party, Rae had a hard time keeping her eyes off of Leif.
I find this particularly amusing, because I have never had to worry about not being able to take my eyes off of a guy. I've never seen it in action, and it kinda baffles me. But my biggest question is whether or not Leif knows the power he has over these girls, and/or if he realizes it doesn't even phase me. Pretty much every girl couldn't keep her eyes off him the whole night. Some were better at hiding it than others, and the whole scene was quite interesting to observe. But my question to you is....

Has this ever happened to you, or to someone you know? if so don't be afraid to comment. =]

Moment in Time

So, i just came from one of my friend's "welcome home from Ireland" party. She recently took a mission trip to the wonderful country across the pond, and her family threw her a welcome home party. (but that's beside the point)
In the midst of this extravaganza I realized how party accessible her house was. She has a HUGE drive way that could accommodate like 12 cars. A pool, a gazebo, a beautiful stone walkway surrounding the pool and house, a tree house, a swing set, a few beautiful benches placed near some rather extraordinary scenery and still have enough room in her actual backyard for at least a hundred people, although there weren't nearly that many people in attendance.
As i sat there and watched the guys throw unsuspecting girls into the pool and do their crazy dives into the pool, it almost seemed as if this house, this property, was purposed to take care of her and her family's partying needs. Like it was the true purpose for it's existence. It was wonderful watching all of the people who I have come to know and love over this last extremely hard year, and it made me silently thank God for not only giving me this time with them but for a wonderful house like Haley's. It was an odd moment. One of those, Stop and smell the roses moments. Where you come to a unique and/or rather weird realization and take it in all in one glorious moment. Where you become acutely aware of the true significance of people, places, or times in this crazy world.
It doesn't happen often, but when it does it makes you grateful to be alive, to be living, breathing, existing in this moment in time. One that probably won't be that memorable, but moments like these are what make living life GREAT!

Perspective

So there comes a time in ever person's life when they finally make it through one of the darkest nights and see that beautiful sunrise coming up over the horizon. Have you ever noticed the way the sky slowly brightens at the breaking dawn? It's one of the most beautiful sites i have ever beheld, and for some reason that one moment of the early morning makes my day before it has even begun. Perhaps it was all the trips to Oklahoma when i was a child. We'd be up all night excited and packing getting ready to leave for the long 10 hour trip to the Texas-Oklahoma state line. I'd be exhausted from running around our culdesac at midnight with my friends, but somehow I always timed it just right. I'd wake up to that beautiful sunrise, and eventhough the ksbj signal had been long out of reach of our humble van, it was like seeing God conduct a symphony ever year. Every year i would get so excited seeing that gorgeous sunset, but as the years went on and friends traveled with us there seemed to be more distractions keeping me away from this glorious symphony. Things in my life started getting in the way, blinding me to this wondorous creation, deafening me to my Saviour's voice, until that wondorous sunrise was nothing more than just another day.
Which makes me think now about how much life gets in the way of our lives. I know that's sounds like a contradiction, but so is the concept of being alive but not really living. It's a concept readily excepted, that i hear constantly from my compadres. As a teenager in high school you can imagine how many times i hear people say something to the effect of "I can't wait to graduate so i can really start living..." I hear it almost everyday not always so much in words as in attitudes, attitudes of complacency. The real problem doesn't lie in our lives, but in our view of them.
The sunrise I saw as a child doesn't differ from the one I see every morning. The only thing different was my perspective. Since those wonderful days of my child till now, so much has changed. I no longer make those annual trips to Oklahoma. I think the season for those days has passed, but my family and I recently took a trip to Reno. We traveled through the Texas panhandle to the country side of New Mexico, the beautiful Mountains of Arizona and the tempting desert of Nevada, and with long and weary day I caught a glimpse of what I saw when I was child. I realized it wasn't just the breaking dawn or the rolling plains. It wasn't the height of the intimidating mountains or the vast desert lands that I was gazing upon. No, it was it's Creator. He is what amazed my young mind. He is what made the sun rise, the moutains stand and the land stretch far and wide.
So today as you go about your business, don't forget to look for your Creator. He's everywhere...

Hebrews 11:3
"By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible."