Sunday, August 23, 2009

True Fellowship!

So, it's been a little while since I've written on here. Mainly because school has just begun and volleyball has commenced taking up my computer time so I will now write on here on the weekends. That's when I'll write about whatever happened over the previous week or any particular strikes of inspiration.

I read a friend's blog yesterday and it moved me. The circumstances, well the happenstance of the music that was playing while I read it was absolutely miraculous. If you haven't checked out my friend Haley on Youtube go look her up. Type Haley&Delaney or the channel name thehaleyshaw. She's one of the most amzing people I have ever met. The particular song I'm talking about is called "Te amo". It's one of the best songs I've ever heard. It always moves me. Anyway I was reading my friend's blog, and as I read it I was moved almost to tears. Because the words I was reading corresponded to the heartfelt lyrics of the song, but the part that really got me was when my friend happened to mention me. She didn't say my name, but she mentioned a conversation that we had had. The realization was incredible. Here was my friend, my "dear friend" pouring out her heart in a blog about what the Lord has done for her, and she counted me as one of her many blessings. I can't help but be moved. In ways I haven't even imagined God has used me. Ways that I don't even recognize. He has used me even in all my state. God is AMAZING!!! It really is amazing the power of just loving someone in one converstion, in one word, in one hug (=]) in one moment. I thank god for putting me in her life, and hers in mine. For almost a year I went to my church, despite angry/disapproving parents, all alone, and then He gave me one of the best friends I've ever had. It's amazing. I almost can't remember going there without her. All the saddness, all the grief, all the pain, all the memories of the lonely hours all alone in that huge building or the tears I cried almost every week having to leave it without anyone to share my joy have all faded away. God gave me her to help me cope with all this parental drama, and to encourage me. AND boy is she an encouragement! She has helped to tear down the rest of my own "Berlin Walls" in my life. She has helped me (even if she can't believe it) to open up more to people. Maybe not in speech or in deed, but in relationships. She was the first person I didn't torture at the start of our friendship. My anger, my rage and all that other baggage was subsided when God put her in my life, and all with one phrase, "Hello, love!"
She may not say that anymore, but that one term of endearment disarmed me and her gentle loving spirit helped to mend things in my life that, even I (the over annalytical one who can figure out the deepest meanings of life and circumstance...hahaha!) until now hadn't realized.
She is an amazing person! God has brought her so far even just in the last 7 months. I can't even belive its only been that long since our friendship started to bloom. I can't imagine not standing side by side with her in the presence of the Almighty lifting our voices in songs of praise and worship! I can't!
I thank Him for every shy, intreverted (though, it is no longer!), hurting, aching, loving, compassionate, kind, gentle, incredibly human part of her because even with all her weaknesses and all of mine, even with all our wonderful God-given strengths, even with all our baggage from our broken or disfunctional families and all our doubts, worries, fears and sadness God has changed us! He has Loved us, and He will USE us! I know now, without a shadow of a doubt and I want to make it known to her and the world (because I don't think I've told her yet) that I love her and I would die for her! I love ya Jessica!
This 7 months of friendship has been some of the sweetest moments of my twisted traumatic wonderfully broken life, and i thank God for you!